Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize