i'm signing you up for texting rehab
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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