Your face is a jimmy john
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
