lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
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