You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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