I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
