Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
