It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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