Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
