My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
