AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
