I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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