3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
