There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
