At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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