I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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