Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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