I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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