me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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