I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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