My brain says no but my pants say off.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize