Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
