I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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