Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
