I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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