I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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