Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
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