thus making me awesome and them whores
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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