i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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