I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
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im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
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