remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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