The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
