that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
