ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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