why didn't you poke me back
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
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