i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
