i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
