the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA