So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it