Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"