he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays