WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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