I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
