Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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