My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
