All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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