Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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