Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize