Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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