Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
