he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
