Ambien. No doubt about it.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
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