Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
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