Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
