I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
