brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize