Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
