Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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